Is There Safety for Me?

Many ask if there is safety for those enduring domestic violence......... For some, they never make it- others find safety in many forms and chose to end the abuse....... Many young women feel hopeless and helpless- I found an excellent rap song that follows the experience of an abused person by allowing us a rare look into the diary of one....this abuse affects more than just the victim-it affects all those around the victim and can leave heartbreak and misery in its path.

Stop Hittin Me artist: Big Lou directed by: Rik Cordero /

What Can I Do To Be Safe?

Call the police

If you feel you are in danger from your abuser at any time, you can call 911 or your local police. HAVEN may be able to provide you with a cell phone that is programmed to only call 911. These phones are for when you need to call the police and cannot get to any other phone.

Consider the following:

¡ If you are in danger when the police come, they can protect you.

¡ They can help you and your children leave your home safely.

¡ They can arrest your abuser when they have enough proof that you have been abused.

¡ They can arrest your abuser if a personal protection order (PPO) has been violated.

¡When the police come, tell them everything the abuser did that made you call.

¡ If you have been hit, tell the police where. Tell them how many times it happened. Show them any marks left on your body. Marks may take time to show up. If you see a mark after the police leave, call the police to take pictures of the marks. They may be used in court.

¡ If your abuser has broken any property, show the police.

¡ The police can give you information on domestic violence programs and shelters.

¡ The police must make a report saying what happened to you. Police reports can be used in court if your abuser is charged with a crime.

¡ Get the officers' names, badge numbers, and the report number in case you need a copy of the report.

¡ A police report can be used to help you get a PPO. Get support from friends and family

Tell your supportive family, friends and co-workers what has happened.

Find a safe place.

Get medical help

If you have been hurt, go to the hospital or your doctor. Domestic violence advocates (people to help you) may be called to the hospital. They are there to give you support. You may ask medical staff to call one for you.

Medical records can be important in court cases. They can also help you get a PPO. Give all the information about your injuries and who hurt you that you feel safe to give.

Special medical concerns

¡ Sometimes you may not even know you are hurt.

¡ What seems like a small injury could be a big one.

¡If you are pregnant and you were hit in your stomach, tell the doctor. Many abusers hurt unborn children.

¡ Domestic violence victims can be in danger of closed head injuries. This is because their abusers often hit them in the head. If any of these things happen after a hit to the head, get medical care right away.

Get a personal protection order

Make a safety plan

Plan what to do before or when you feel unsafe.


If you decide to leave, even for a very short period of time, take your children with you if it's at all possible and you can do so without exposing them to harm or risk of harm, or violating a custody order. Not only can you better ensure the safety of your children if they are with you, but having physical custody of your children will help you get temporary or permanent legal custody of your children if you decide to file a custody petition with the court. If you decide to leave, take these things with you, if possible, because it may be difficult to get them later:

Orders of Protection

Custody orders, paternity documents

Identification for yourself

Birth certificates - yours and your children's

Social Security cards

Marriage, separation or divorce papers

School and vaccination records


Checkbook, Savings Account Passbooks, Automatic Teller Machine Card, PIN numbers

Credit Cards and or account numbers

Keys - house, car, office, post office box, safety deposit box

Drivers license, car registration and title

Medications and prescriptions

Health insurance or Medicaid cards

Welfare identification

Passport, green card, work permit and any other immigration documents

Several changes of clothes

Children's favorite toys, security blankets

Lease/rental agreement, house deed

Mortgage Payment book, current unpaid bills

Insurance papers

Address book

Pictures, jewelry, items of sentimental value

Pictures of injuries you may have gotten from your partners abuse

Any evidence that might help police in investigating your case, for example, threatening letters or phone message tapes

Make copies of important documents and keys and find a safe place to keep them in case you decide to leave. A safe place can include a hiding place in your home or with a friend, neighbor or family member that you trust.