Myths about Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence is one of today's most common assault type crimes. There are a lot of myths associated with domestic violence that unfortunately are very misleading such as:

"Domestic Abusers are extremely violent people"

Though some domestic abusers are extremely violent people, they are actually the minority. Domestic abuse isn't about violence. It's about control. The abuser wants to control their victim, and this control is enforced through physical violence. This is why abusers will not fight with the police, because they know they will not gain the control. Some common myths surround domestic abuse and violence are:

"Domestic Violence only happens to poor people."

Domestic Violence has no boundaries; it affects all levels of income.

"Alcohol drug abuse, stress, and mental illness cause domestic violence"

Although this is not true, it is commonly used as an excuse by abusers who try to pardon their actions, and unfortunately their victims buy into this. Alcohol use, drug use, and stress do not cause domestic violence; they may go along with domestic violence, but they do not cause the violence itself.

"Domestic Violence is a personal problem between a husband and wife"

Domestic violence goes way beyond just the two immediate people involved. Look into a child's face that sees this violence everyday. Then go visit that child about 10 to 15 years later and see what they have become. If they are male, they will most likely become domestic abusers themselves. If they are female they will most likely become domestic victims themselves. Why? learned behavior; this was their environment growing up, and to them, this is just acceptable behavior that people do. It takes a very strong person to come out of that type of environment and not have it become part of their adult lives. A child who lives with domestic violence will never forget it.

"If it were that bad, she would just leave."

Leaving a domestic violence situation is not easy. Many times children are involved and the victim may not have any financial means of supporting themselves. Not only that, but they may fear that they will be killed if they leave. As strange as it may sound, some have a real psychological bond with their abuser, and just won't leave.

"I can change him /her."

This thought is the worst. For anyone who thinks this, read the following carefully: NO YOU CAN'T! Domestic violence is way too complex for any one person to handle, or fix. You have to either escape it, or have some sort of professional intervention.

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